Being Mum

Bismillah AlRahman AlRaheem

It has been a struggle for me this year. Honestly, I don't know if it is me alone on this, but it feels like being a mother with small children makes it a hard to get the most of the month of Ramadan. 

Alhamdulilah, the spirit of the month is uplifting, but to maintain the focus of ibadah and to get enough rest after looking after the house, the children and then to cook meals for the family is a real challenge for me (particulary with a teething 10 month old).

 Alhamdulilah. Alhamdulilah. Alhamdulilah.

May Allah make it easy on all Mothers, may God give them the patience to enjoy this blessed month to its fullest. May He, the Knower of all things, give bountiful blessings to all those fasting whilst caring for the young, the old and those incapable of looking after themselves.


Oh Allah, forgive my weaknesses and neglectfulness, please grant me the wisdom and time to always be thankful for what You have given me.

I would love some feedback on how other Mothers (or fathers) feel about this. Pretty please?

Peace and Love,
Erin













 

A little goes a long way...

After my first ( and slightly embarrassing post), I have another confession to make.

I really dislike waking early *shock horror*

Ok. Perhaps that wasn't as outrageous as I made it out to be, but there's a moral to the story, I promise.

Praying fajr has always been a somewhat difficult task. The almost-painful daily ritual of hearing the iPhone squawk its morning wake-up call, getting out of a warm and oh-so-comfy bed, splashing water reminiscent of an ice bath onto objecting extremities and then hoping to fall back to sleep after the whole process is done and dusted isn't exactly my idea of a comfortable start to the morning. Of course, the spiritual uplift of being close to God when the rest of humanity is still half-way through their REM cycles is worth it, but it doesnt change the fact that waking up at the roosters cry is a rather arduous task.

Waking up for suhoor on the other hand...

The closest analogy I can come up with is that bolt of adrenalin you'd get as a kid when you heard the ice-cream van coming down your street and suddenly, the exhaustion that came as a result of having to do your home-work ( hey, its tough being a 6-year old!) vanished in an instant.

So now, the promise of Vegemite on toast with a side of chocolate milk is the grown-up version of soft serve. And man does it get me moving.

It struck me recently that it was easier to get me up for a Milo then it was to wake up for a meeting with the One who created the Milo in the first place. That's a sad realisation and one which I felt was worth sharing.

As humans, we tend to forget the most important things in life. It makes sense given that the word insaan ( human) is derived from the Arabic word to forget. We find it easier to wake up for suhoor than for Fajr. To go to a friends place for ifatr than to the mosque for taraweeh. We'd prefer to watch a Masterchef invention test than to read a surah of Quran. Our lifestyle makes it very easy for us to forget that our first and foremost priority is to seek the pleasure of God.

And I use the generic term because I refer not only to Muslims, but to humanity generally. We've lost that connection to the Divine and instead fill our plates with pointless banter, empty purchases and a rose-tinted outlook on the state of the world. As a race, we've really failed. Our quest for ease and comfort has led us to destruction. We justify global warming as being a necessary consequence of economic development then try to stick a band-aid over it. We live with the fact that 80% of the worlds population barely has enough to eat so that we can build big, pretty houses with central heating. Our priorities in life have been really skewed and its not wonder our relationship with God is suffering.

Its time to start living simple. Even if you do have that big house and the Merc, go to the masjid for Fajr every morning and read Quran for 10 minutes after prayer. Stay up till you have to go to work and spend the time working on beneficial things which will help humanity out of the state its in. And do it consistently. Because if there's one thing were lacking, its consistency.

Ramadan is honestly the best time to start. You're already in hardship-mode so adding a few daily actions to the pot will help challenge you further and reap the rewards of this Month. And remember, a little bit can go a very long way if you stick with it.

The Smells and Sounds of Ramadan

I have always associated smells and sounds with home. When I lived with my parents in a rented house in Malabar, it was the charming smell of bleach, drifting across occasionally from the treatment plant across the bay, something always seemingly accompanied with sporadic rifle shots from the shooting range nearby. Later on when we moved to Fremantle it was the more pleasant smells of salt air, citrus and olives that got me thinking of that home, or the screech of my bike as I would skid into the driveway. For my current home, the smells are Turkish coffee brewing on the stove and wood smoke from fires lit on autumn evenings with my parents, the sounds a myriad of birds; doves, mynas, magpies and kurrajongs, singing outside my windows.

I discovered that I was Muslim in Ramadan of 2006 and it was a kind of homecoming. So now, every Ramadan, I get that same sense, on that first night of tarawih, that first suhoor; that I am home again. This is triggered by the senses as much as remembrance of how I came here, the smells and sounds of Ramadan tell me I’m home. So in that light my reflections on Ramadan shall be an olfactory and aural tour of my Ramadan.

Suhoor

Suhoor smells like porridge and sounds like mobile phone alarm. Probably the most abrasive hallmark of Ramadan is the alarm that wakes me for suhoor, however, horrible as it is, for the month at least; it has with it some positive connotations. Chief amongst these would be porridge! Ever since my first Ramadan, porridge has been a suhoor staple, in small or large amounts, sweetened with honey or brown sugar or dried apples or sultanas and spiced with cinnamon or nutmeg… or made up of a mash all of those combined. Nothing says suhoor more than the smell of porridge and the klaxons of phone alarm.

Fasting

I have to be honest, fast breath is probably the most overwhelming signal of fasting to me. I am very self conscious about making sure I smell nice. One could tell I was coming by the jangle of mints in my pocket, and I have been known to wear more than a little too much itr on occasion. So in this sense, I spend much of my time talking into my hand, desperate not to offend with my breath. Funnily enough, it is a lack of sound that reminds me I am fasting more than a specific one. I have the bad habit of talking too much, yet in Ramadan, at least during the day, I find myself inclined towards quiet.

This may be due to the aforementioned fast breath, but I think there is something else there too. Ramadan makes me feel calm, and the constant stream of conversation that I normally spout seems like so much agitation. This may mean that for my wife, not being barraged with my inane prattle is her ‘home sound’ for Ramadan.

Iftar

Now I think there is no one reading this blog, who has ever been to an iftar, that can pick any other smell than that of dates. That sweet, sticky, glorious smell wafting up from dates clutched in a hand at a Uni iftar, or from a plate at a Muslim friendly restaurant, a platter in a Masjid or a box in the kitchen. Truth be told I disliked dates before I became Muslim, but after my first Ramadan, I came to love that glorious smell with a passion.

The sound on the other hand would be the crackling of the radio in my in-laws living room as we await the adhan. As maghrib draws near, my mother-in-law will pass out dates and my father-in-law will turn on this small radio that will come through to us sitting in the kitchen. The reception is always a little off and so the adhan will come through crackled but still audible. Tis a good sound! Of course it is not one only heard at my in-laws house. That same crackled adhan plays from Thai restaurants in Randwick to Turkish kebab shops in Auburn, letting the restaurant goers know that those dates will go from smelling to tasting in a moment.

Tarawih

It was during tarawih that I was caused to come up with this tour. Sitting in between rakat, I realized how during the prayer two senses stood out. Deprived of stimulus, staring at the same blue piece of carpet and corner of the minbar, my mind would seemingly amplify my sense of hearing and smell in response. In terms of sound, this is certainly a positive. The specific sound being a man named Imam Shameem, who is the Imam at Surrey Hills masjid. His recitation is more my Ramadan home than anything else. It is gloriously familiar to me now, his soft spoken discussion of the verses recited, his way of pronouncing Arabic and the rustle of the woolen vest he often wears is like one of Pavlov’s bells for my tarawih.

Funnily enough, tarawih also has a distinctive smell, a mix of the pleasant and the distracting. Tarawih smells like the musk I wear for prayer, and the perfumes of my neighbours. It also smells a little bit like feet, and there are echoes of the biryani served for iftar, wafting up from the floors below. It is still good though, familiar and comforting.

I am oft caused to reflect that becoming Muslim has given me a heightened sense of the little things. What I mean by this is that, amongst the pious people I know, there is always an attention to detail. The Sheikh that I took shahadah with would always tell people as they ate that his Sheikh had the habit of reciting ‘Look at your food’ as people would gather to eat. We would be caused to reflect upon all that went into that apparently simple meal in front of us, the hundreds of hours of labour from field to plate, the energy from the sun that allowed the vegetables to grow and the complex biology that turns food into sustenance.

This sense of the little things, like the smells and sounds that surround us in this blessed month, can be a great source of shukr, for to all of them to the Creator do we owe our due. So on that note my tour ends. Ramadan Mubarak to you all :D I hope to see you all about my own home, either metaphorical or literal.

The Caffeine Grumbles

If youre anything like me and caffeine constitutes an entire food group, then today/yesterday would've been hard.

Like, really hard.

Given Ramadan is a time to focus on getting your head straight ( and not the headaches), its worthwhile to spend a little bit of time working out how to minimise the disruption that caffeine withdrawal will cause you. It can last anywhere between 2-9 days so if youre one of those that has to spend the first few days of Ramadan sniffing coffee beans to get through , then you might want to listen in.

Here are some tried and tested tips to surviving this unholy time without falling asleep at your work desk:

1. Cut down your caffeine intake slowly

If youre the type that can handle having a coffee in the arvo without feeling the need to stay up on Facebook till fajr, then have half your usual intake of coffee at iftar for a few days and slowly cut down the amount you consume over the first week. If having it in the afternoon disrupts your sleep, then simply wake up a bit earlier than usual for suhoor and have plenty of water afterwards ( as it may dehydrate you).

2. Drug yourself up

( NB: I have not in any way, shape or form been bribed or otherwise received any payment from the makers of any painkillers for this post)

Panadol and Nurofen Plus. God bless 'em. There are formulations of Panadol which allow it to last for up to 8 hours ( Nurofen Plus lasts around 6 hours but is generally stronger if you can handle it and have used it before. Its behind the counter so you'll need to ask your pharmacist for these). If you take these at suhoor and iftar for a few days, they should help take the edge off the pain.

3. Be warned!

Let your colleagues know that youre fasting and stepping into Im-going-to-throttle-someone territory so that theyre prepared for your bad temperament. Having the caffeine grumbles is an ugly thing and those around you have a right to know that your sudden mood swings will go away soon and that you havn't suddenly morphed into a Ramadan version of the Grinch.

4. ZZZzzzzzzz.....

No, my keyboard isnt playing up. Rest is a sacred thing in Ramadan. One of the best ways of getting rid of a caffeine withdrawal headache is to sleep it off. Im not suggesting you quit your job for this but if possible, spend your lunchtime taking a nap at your desk or car to help you deal with fatigue and aches that comes as a result of ditching coffee for a month.

Anyone else have some super ideas for dealing with caffeine withdrawal whilst fasting?

Growing up, I was never a big fan of Ramadan.

To my juvenile mind, Ramadan was a month of hunger, thirst and being confined to my bed because there was nothing better to do when your blood sugar's hitting negative digits. Up until very recently, I found it difficult to grasp the intrinsic value of going hungry for an entire month of the year and would spend weeks beforehand grumbling about the caffeine withdrawal I would soon have to endure. I'd suffer the inevitable pang of guilt every time a "yay! Ramadans almost here!" popped up on my news feed and wondered why I couldn't get as excited about the Month that never seemed to end.

But somethings changed this year. Its been a gradual process but the last 9 months have been one massive light-bulb moment. This may sound cliche, but the transition from full-time bludgi...err.. uni to full-time work has been an immensely difficult one. Suddenly, it wasnt ok to miss the morning train, counting on the lecturer not to notice your late entrance because he's too busy getting excited over enzyme induction in front of a room full of napping students. All of a sudden, the 5-hour breaks between lectures that we used to complain about are remembered with great fondness. Getting home before the sun sets becomes a rare joy ( or even getting the chance to see the sun at all, for that matter). Sleeping in ( whats that again?) no longer exists and finding the time for a social life is more challenging than trying to get a meeting with Gillard. For someone who is thoroughly bored by routine, full-time work has been agonising. I can almost see many of you nodding your heads in wistful unison as you remember the good ol' days of lunch catch ups with friends, 3-month holidays and 12pm starts.

It's hard but a necessary fact of life. Growing up means waking up at a certain time, sleeping at a certain time and enduring hardship for the sake of the greater good. Much like Ramadan, actually.

For the first time (and quite belatedly, I must admit), I see the inherent wisdom behind taking a month out of your life to focus purely on the metaphysical by training the physical to bow to the higher self. The blessings, rewards and goodness that come out of this month are our goodies for the hereafter. But through this arduous task, Allah swt has also given us the tool by which we can master the world we currently live in. And that tool is self-discipline.

Self-discipline is an art form and one which the most successful of this world have perfected. As inheritors of the earth, Muslims are expected to possess the noblest of qualities and the best of characters. We pray 5 times a day, part with our hard-earned dollars every year, fast an entire month, wake at the roosters cry each morning and abstain from harmful things that our nafs desires not only for the purpose of pleasing and remaining close to Allah swt, but also to instill the qualities of self-restraint, discipline and consistency into our character. Islam has a rich tradition of promoting discipline within its adherents and so it's little wonder that our history is replete with examples of individuals who have quite literally changed the world. From scientific discovery to philosophical mastery, our predecessors pioneered concepts which allowed the world to enter a new stage in its very long and dubious life. How? Through faith, curiosity and of course, self-discipline.

Moral of the story? Working full-time and patiently juggling a billion other responsibilities ( hyperbole is a weakness of mine) whilst sincerely believing that our reward will be waiting for us in the Hereafter mightn't be the easiest thing in the world but it equips us with the skills to be masters of both this world and the next.

Kinda like Ramadan :)

Taraweeh @ Lakemba Mosque - The Good Ole Days

Taraweeh @ Lakemba Mosque - The Good Ole Days

One of my most vivid and memorable experiences growing up as Muslim child in Sydney, Australia was performing the daily Taraweeh Prayers at Lakemba Mosque. Without fail, my father and uncle would take the young taraweeh-ing sisters and cousins to perform Taraweeh prayers in congregation with other mosque-goers. I obviously prayed at the women's section where during those time when I was a child-teenager, the prayer area was not so full, there was room to move around and talk to many mosque-goers, the atmosphere was spiritually vibrant, and the long-standing prayers were spiritually awakening.

Lakemba Mosque was the place to be every year and the older I became and became unintentionally separated due to other roles and responsibilities, the stronger the desire to re-experience the spiritual awakenings and reconnection becomes.

Every year I do wonder about my own children as I have not been able to share that very experience with them, and the desire to have them experience what I did when I was younger remains strong. Whether they will associate the same meaning, symbols, understandings of congregation prayers during Taraweeh is yet to be known...but one thing I do thank is my father's strong connection to the mosque becauase little did he know that his love for praying at the mosque which he shared with his children, would eventually become one of his children's fondest memories.

- Hanan

Guide Me

Anticipation,

The heart of my year,

It’s aching for new start.

Your light beckons me,

Draws me near.

Draws me dear.

From the birth of one moon

Until the next,

Guide me, Oh Lord

Your love, find me,

Oh Lord.